When Healing Doesn’t Fit the Box

A lot of people come to therapy or to health practitioners already exhausted.

They’ve often done “everything right”. Or at least, everything they were told to do.

Their symptoms don’t fit neatly into the standard medical model, so they’ve tried protocols, programs, therapists, coaches, diets, frameworks. Often for years.

They’ve been told what should work.
And when it doesn’t, the message that quietly seeps in is that something must be wrong with them.

I’ve seen this again and again. In my clients. And in myself.

It’s not a lack of effort or commitment. It’s the mismatch of trying to fit a real human experience into someone else’s model, framework, or “7-step system”.

Each new approach becomes just one more thing that didn’t work, and yet another reason to feel wrong in some way.

Most people I see have tried very hard. I did too. For years.

But something shifts when we stop fighting our actual experience. When we stop trying not to feel something, physically or emotionally. There’s something quietly liberating about allowing what’s already here to be there, without resisting it, fixing it, or pushing it away with food, substances, work, busyness, or (my personal favourite) Netflix.

There Is No One-Size-Fits-All

I know it’s a cliché to say that we’re all different. But we really are.

Chronic illness, emotional overwhelm, nervous system dysregulation, long-held stress patterns. These make us bio-individual. And they don’t live in one isolated place.

They live in the whole system.
In the body.
In emotions.
In history.
In family background.
In our environment.
In the meaning we’ve made of what’s happened.

Some people are stuck in their thinking mind and need help reconnecting with their body.
Others are flooded by emotion and need safety, structure, and careful pacing.
Some are physically depleted and need practical, grounded support.
Some are carrying unresolved experiences and have never had the space to stop and put them down.

This means the work I do looks different depending on the person in front of me.

It’s also why I’ve found it so hard to create a 12-week program that works for everyone. So I don’t do that. I value the individual in front of me and don’t try to make them fit my structure.

That’s why I don’t offer a rigid, fixed program with a guaranteed outcome in a set number of weeks. And it’s why I’m cautious about approaches that promise the same result for everyone, regardless of their history or nervous system.

A Toolbox, Not a Template

Over the years, I’ve trained in many approaches: health and wellness coaching, nutrition, nervous system regulation, somatic and embodied emotional work, Sandplay, and transpersonal approaches. I continue to study and learn.

I don’t bring a single modality.

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. People deserve more care than that.

The most important skills I bring are presence and discernment. It’s not about following a procedure or technique. It’s knowing when to offer structure and when to soften it. Knowing when practical support is what’s needed, and when deeper emotional work wants attention. Knowing when to slow down, and when to gently invite movement forward.

Structure Without Forcing

This doesn’t mean that anything goes.

Structure matters.
Containment matters.
Safety matters above all else.

But structure should serve the person, not the practitioner’s business model or favourite method.

Some people benefit from shorter, regular sessions that support momentum and integration. Others need longer, more spacious sessions to explore what’s been held for a long time. Many people need a blend of both.

And sometimes, what’s needed changes over time.

That’s not a lack of direction.
It’s responsiveness.

And yes, it doesn’t fit neatly into the usual “package” that coaches are taught to offer.

Healing as a Relationship, Not a Recipe

At its heart, healing isn’t about fixing. It’s about changing our relationship with what’s happening in the body and nervous system, and removing the conditions that block natural repair.

The body knows how to heal if it can.
Our work is often about creating the conditions where it finally can.

That work requires presence. Listening. Adjusting. Mapping where someone is now, not where a program says they should be.

It also requires humility. From both practitioner and client.

How I Work

When we work together, we don’t decide everything upfront.

What I’m interested in isn’t fixing people. It’s helping the body and soul feel safe enough to do what they already know how to do.

What people often call healing is rarely about doing more.
It’s about removing what’s getting in the way.

We start with curiosity.
We pay attention to what’s emerging.

Sometimes the work is practical and supportive.
Sometimes it’s emotional and deep.
Sometimes it’s about rest, regulation, and reclaiming trust in the body.

The structure is there to hold you, not to confine you.

And if at any point something doesn’t feel right, we talk about it. Healing works best when it’s collaborative, not prescriptive.

If you’ve felt like you’ve never quite fit the box you were offered, you’re not alone.

And you’re not broken.

The work doesn’t fail because people don’t try hard enough.
It breaks down when the approach doesn’t meet them where they are.

If you’re curious about working together, you can read more on my website or get in touch directly.

InnerGoldHealthCoaching.com.au
+61 0408 414 359